Choices Regret arose this morning over not being a parent not having a child to love - I thought about it many times, we've discussed it frequently. Thoughout my life I've always felt I had bigger fish to fry, felt heart impulse way too strong for major sidetracks and commitments - saw too many people sacrifice their spiritual yearnings under the duties of parenthood, an exhorbitant prices I refused to pay. And examining all the reasons why I would want children, most of them selfish and based on lack insincere motives unfair to little ones, but the urge to love a child does arise, though moving through life passages, at forty seven years of age - if it's not to happen, then may every being be my child, just, as they say, they've been my mother, in one life or another. Thus I've travelled a different road, taken a different tack: demons of aversion to the threat of emptiness and lack must be met head on... not fear the space, to embrace it completely, to walk through doors that others avoid, to honor the impulse of the heart and find the greater love for all. June 05, 2001 (1 of 2)